How much coffee is too much coffee?

I’m asking you this question, my dear friend, because I feel the peculiar, bitter taste in my mouth as I type this.

See, I absolutely need to have a cup in the morning, no ifs and buts about it. My beloved mother has taught me that everything tastes better with coffee. So while a tall glass of orange juice would be the obvious, healthy and invigorating choice for a solid breakfast, I go straight for my – very, it needs to be very – hot cup of coffee, nothing worse than cold, lukewarm coffee. When I was in Glasgow visiting a friend recently – who by the way, does not drink coffee (what!!) – I had to settle for apple juice. Okay, that’s fine I love apple juice, in fact. Just not as much as I love my morning coffee. So when I got home guess what I had that afternoon? That’s right.

That same friend says coffee tastes like nothing but hot, dirty water. And he drinks a cup of green tea every night! I mean, really? Green tea IS warm, dirty water. Obviously he’s not as sophisticated as me, because everyone knows sophisticated people drink coffee. They sit down with a newspaper, a thick fancy book, an intellectual friend and what do they order, what do they feed their brains with? Coffee! That’s correct, because coffee is a great daily addition to your life when you are a neurotic, anxious and complicated little person who can’t seem to get your life together, damn it!

I have renounced everything else: coke, canned beans, instant ramen. I’ve tried quitting before but it always feels like something is missing. Besides just a quick search on google and you’ll find out coffee is good for your mind, soul and extends life span. The benefits are endless! And if it’s on the internet, then you know it must be true. Of course multiple cups throughout the day make your life even more exciting: all the emotional ups and downs, the shaking of the hands, the increased heart rate. It’s like an adventure and who doesn’t want all that instability in their life! My brain and my heart won’t even think twice before taking my body wherever the coffee is.

Yesterday all I had to eat for the whole day was chocolate cake and coffee. I was too lazy and busy to cook or look for anything else. Now my stomach, head and mouth are coming up with their own opinions about the whole situation. The addiction persists because I’m very stubborn. But it’s all very democratic over here and we’re all discussing and looking for a satisfying solution. We all want to live long and prosper – my organs and I.

It seems I’m gonna have to cut back. Ah boooring! It’s hard to remain uneducated and oblivious in the information age. If I die from drinking too much caffeine I’ll only have myself to blame and people will even question the validity of my college degree. There’s too much at stake here.

My trembling hands and my foggy brain are taking a break from coffee. There’s green tea in the cupboard. And ginger. The time are a changin’.

How much coffee is too much coffee?

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  1. Haha! I love coffee but can only drink 4 cups max and then it starts to taste wrong. After this it’s hot water & lemon (or wine) for me.

  2. Haha! I love coffee but can only drink 4 cups max and then it starts to taste wrong. After this it’s hot water & lemon (or wine) for me.

  3. Viva Glow says:

    Well, this is a fun read. To em, too much coffee means weird knocking within my chest and a spinning feeling in my head. But alas, I still always reach for a cup every morning before anything else.

    I do have to say, though, green tea has so much benefits for detox and for the skin (have you heard that this is an asian secret for youthful looking skin?)

    • Anna says:

      Thank you for reading! and that description is on point and absolutely relatable haha
      You know what, I’m easily convinced and you had me at “secret for youthful looking skin”. I’m officially a green tea person after reading this and there’s no going back.

  4. Viva Glow says:

    Haha! Well, you’re very much welcome! 😉

    sidenote: i heard that in japan, households keep this big plastic pitcher full of green tea so they can share with guests. it’s literally their version of flavored water. i guess you could say it’s part of their skincare routine.
    *types this while sipping coffee*

    • Anna says:

      So do you think I should do the same with coffee? Can’t think of a better gift to share with my guests…I mean coffee does help improve energy levels and it does make you smarter. It’s just science after all…

      *types this after paying for the second cup of coffee of the day. tastes real good*


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