Rich people are frugal. We are on a budget. We have a lot in common, it’s just a matter of wording. When you’re becoming an adult and things like college and unpaid internship are constant part of your vocabulary, finding ways to save money that feel effortless becomes a lifestyle. Some friends find budgeting annoying, but a slight shift in perspective will show you that budgeting actually adds some spice to life. It forces you to be conscious, extremely conscious and aware at all times, or if you look at it through more sensible lenses you’ll realise that it’s just about being in the present. In a very transcendent way, it’s about being in the now. Here’s how to live like a rich person – when you’re broke.
Embrace your shortcomings, disregard any concept of embarrassment or self-preservation and just throw yourself out there. Dignity? Who is she? Rent is due at the end of the month.
First things first: move into a one bedroom with two other friends. It’s a little bit crowded but the landlord doesn’t need to know.
P.S: In case said landlord comes around unannounced, be prepared to quickly hide in one of the predetermined strategic locations within the minuscule space you share – this is entirely possible, by the way.
Moving into a one bedroom with two other friends is an excellent way to save money and have other people to cook for you and carry one third of the grocery bags. This is a huge advantage point, which also brings us to the second item on this list:
Do your groceries at Walmart. I know and I agree, this is borderline problematic and potentially goes against your ideals and ethical values as a conscious citizen who cares about the planet and the lives of low wage workers, but remember, we are on a budget. We can’t afford to have high standards at the moment and eat at the same time. We can afford the butter and fresh strawberries here though, so save your moral high ground for when you’re actually rich – and by the rates we’re going with all this budgeting it won’t take long! Moving up the social ladder!
Of course shopping at Walmart means taking the train all the way to the west end of the city. It takes hours, it’s heavily snowing outside and the plastic bags you’re carrying (remember to bring your reusables next time) will obviously get ripped and the onions will inevitably bounce everywhere, at which point you’ll find yourself desperately chasing them around. It will be slightly scary – who wants to slip on ice? – but you’ll get through it and it’ll be fun. The three of you will be laughing at this little incident for hours on the way home. So it’s a great little bonding experience and free entertainment. A win win.
Instead of going out, host dinner parties. Invite all your friends over and instead of food, just buy a lot of vodka, coke and orange juice. There’s a new pizza place opening up next morning and they’re giving away whole pizzas for the first 100 people there, so we all know we’re not sleeping tonight anyway.
All this saving up will come in handy when you hit the mall this weekend. Lots of clearance sales and free samples at Sephora.
In fact, free samples is your new motto. If you look around you’ll notice there are free samples everywhere. Take advantage of that wonderful world.
Sign up for free trials. Everyone offers free trials now: gyms, clothing rental companies, hulu. You got it all covered.
Sell clothes you don’t wear anymore and start a side hustle.
You made it. You even made it look effortless. No one will ever know about that time you made mojitos using fresh snow you collected from the garden because you didn’t have any ice. When you move out of that tiny apartment you’ll carefully place all the vodka bottles on the kitchen table along with the keys and a thank you note. You have survived being broke in the big city, but remember it’s only the beginning. Everything is temporary. Except for samples. Samples are available forever.