This is crazy. I’m not telling you to break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Daniel Sloss is. And you should kind of listen to him.
Here’s the backstory:
If you haven’t watched his Netflix special, you must. He looks like a hotter version of Macaulay Culkin (irrelevant), he’s Scottish (very relevant – hellooo, that accent), his comedy and sense of humour are outrageously dark. But what really sets him apart is his jigsaw puzzle analogy. The reason I so strongly identify with his beliefs when it comes to relationships is because I’ve always seen love the same way, I just never had the same wonderful way to put it together.
When Sloss was seven years old he asked his dad about the meaning of life. I really think you should watch the special by the way, so I won’t go into too much detail here.
His dad explains that life is like a jigsaw puzzle. All our lives are our own individual jigsaw puzzle, and as we go through life we piece it together based on experiences and lessons we’ve learned until we get the best picture. The thing is everyone has lost their box and no one knows what image they’re trying to make, so we’re all just confidently guessing. So we start by piecing it from all corners: family, friends, hobbies/interests, and job.
And then there’s the main image: the partner piece. The formidable stranger who’s gonna come into your life and finally give it meaning. The one person who will make you feel complete and you’ll never be lonely again. If you’re not with someone, then you are not whole. If you don’t have someone, you are broken. Every Disney princess has a prince, every character in the movies find their soul mate. In real life, we are all desperate trying to fit people into our jigsaw puzzle that clearly do not belong there. Because we’ve learned from the beginning that it’s better to be with anyone than to be alone. Even if that means we’re just trying to fit ourselves into someone else’s idea of perfect, even if we are not happy at all. “People are more in love with the idea of love than the person they are with,” Sloss says.
Sometimes people realise they’ve been working toward completely different jigsaw images all along. That’s when you ask yourself two crucial questions:
- Do I admit the last few years of my life have been a waste?
- Do I want to waste the rest of my life?
And that’s when you finally must muster the courage to break up with them. Being single is seen as a temporary situation, as something to avoid at all costs. If you’re the single friend everyone feels kinda bad for you? (been there). But spoiler alert! Being alone doesn’t mean you’re all lonely and unhappy! You can get love and happiness from so many different sources, but most importantly, getting to really spent time learning more about yourself is something everyone should do. When you truly yourself you won’t be with anyone who doesn’t love you 100% as who you are.
Just think about it. Trying to make someone fit into your life will really make you that happy? Is it really worth it?
I’m still a hopeless romantic even though most marriages end up in divorce. (and don’t tell anyone but I still love romantic comedies and their delusional plots that have completely rotten an entire generation’s idea of love). I still love love and relationships even though Sloss is completely cynical about them. Through his standup he has helped countless couples find happiness and finally end their sinking relationships. He has been keeping a break up tally on his Twitter:
Break ups = 95000+ Divorces = 200+
Damn. That’s crazy isn’t it? All the love birds on instagram? Are they even real?
Ahh who cares. The only question that matters is, will I ever find my missing piece? Will I ever be whole?
Maybe my missing piece is pizza.