Being a Cancer

First of all I never loved the idea of being a Cancer, because out of 12 zodiac signs who wants to be a Cancer? It starts with the title: imposing and strong but not at all in a positive way. And then there’s the dooming description found on any unremarkable horoscope: “Those born under the zodiac sign Cancer are overly sensitive, too intense, they’re moody and needy, and don’t you forget: they’re super deeply sensitive. Beware!” – which basically means nobody wants to date an intense, clingy and sensitive Cancer when they can have a fun loving Aries. It didn’t take long for me to decide I desperately needed to escape that Cancer identity, because – guess what – my deeply sensitive nature meant that they were right. I was in fact too sensitive and needy and tended to dwell on things.

For the longest time I wanted to be a Taurus. My older cousin was a Taurus and she was fiery and confident, and I was inspired by her stubborn personality. I wanted to be just like that, but I’d keep coming back to my old daydreaming Cancer ways. Eventually I had to accept that I was a romantic and a creative type, and therefore I should suffer.

The truth is I never paid too much attention to horoscopes or astrology, although I always had fun reading about future predicaments from time to time; but I guess what really bothered me was that I didn’t want to be put in a box. I refused to be labeled as my zodiac sign, specially because it made me look weak. I mean, sensitive people are the weak ones, right?!

I’m over all of it now. I’m no longer haunted by my sign, because I’ve learned a few things throughout the years. Like, I’m a complex human being and I have traits from all 12 signs within me. I can be moody and sensitive, yes, but also extremely ambitions and, I love fun and adventures. I mean, I’m so fun! I also learned that one sign is not enough to define a person, so we all have ascendant signs and rising signs and moon signs, making us a mosaic of feelings and personalities. So that means that I’m also a little bit of a Sagittarius and a Scorpio, which makes me free spirited, open minded, active, optimistic, courageous, inquisitive, mysterious, passionate and exciting. Am I not impressive!! Aren’t you impressed? Well I’m impressed.

Of course supposedly I’m still unsettled, melancholic, sentimental, passive aggressive and dependent – which I beg to differ since last time I checked I was perfect (HA!)

This is all to say that I’ve made peace with the fact that I’m a Cancer. We are nurturing, compassionate people. This will make us great mothers! And it’s okay if I’m a little too sensitive, I’ll just have to learn to grow some thick skin. In fact although I love being a romantic, a lot of the time I can be the exact opposite, and I can expose a lot of my Sagittarius/Scorpio tendencies. I still think of astrology as more of a fun thing rather than a serious thing, but it does help me understand more who I am, my nature and personality, and I love discovering little bits about myself that I never took the time to consider and think about. And maybe nature and the Universe might actually influence me more than I know, and I’m interested in exploring parts of me that I don’t fully understand yet, and being open to discovering new sides of me.

This week I read my horoscope and I was really happy about it. It said “I’m eager to open my mind, broaden my horizon and I’m constantly searching for the purpose of life”.

And I’m still hoping to find some answers.

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