making decisions

Before I make any big (-ish) decision, I usually take some time to dive into a bit of research. It’ll be quick, I naively tell myself every. single. time.

It could be anything really: a few months ago I decided it was about time I got myself a menstrual cup. That part of the decision was easy to reach, so I spent the next chunk of the decision making process going down a very, very deep internet rabbit hole where I spent countless hours reading articles, watching videos and gathering as much information as I could before I was ready to settle on a brand and commit to the whole thing. Does that sound reasonable? Yes, it does! But do you know what else happens when you do that? Well, let me tell ya, you make things infinitely harder for yourself. The deeper you go, the less you know, the less you learn. And then there’s this little thing called decision paralyses that leads you to feeling so overwhelmed that you can’t make any decision and next thing you know, bam, you’re a big procrastinator.

I like too many things. I’m curious and restless. I’d have to live a thousand lives to be able to do everything I want to do in this one. And I’m impatient and I overthink things. Sounds great, doesn’t it!

But sometimes, when the stars align, it all becomes clear and I know exactly what to do. Nothing feels more liberating or beautiful. Nothing can stop me. It’s like magic, I don’t need any research or validation, or even certainty. It’s like our hearts know something we don’t, and the only thing left to do is follow our gut. Because somehow your body knows the answer, before your mind can even process it.

I still have trouble picking the right pasta sauce at the groceries (too many jars and cans and choices!). I still feel compelled to examine every alternative available and I tend to rely too much on external sources for evaluation when I need to make certain decisions. I still get exhausted by my need to question everything and my inability to move forward with some decisions. yikes!

But when I do know what I want, the few things I’m sure of, then I confidently know it. And I’m writing this to remind myself that it is okay to make a decision and then realise that it wasn’t the best one – that’s an inevitable part of life and growing up. And it’s okay go back and start all over again. But  you know the cliche is true: bad decisions do make good stories. And we’re here for a good time, and good stories.

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