Living on the edge

Dear readers,

I lived life on the edge today and cut my own hair. God bless youtube. Having said that, if I may offer any advice…don’t do it. I mean, just don’t.

To be honest it doesn’t look terrible; but it doesn’t look great either. I guess I went a little too far…? Well, lesson learned! In fact, now I feel empowered and brave *cough cough lying to myself* 

So it went from looking something like this…

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…to some sort of the version of that. Ha! I’ll upload the results once I’m over the grieving process. Thank you for understanding.

Garden State

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Zach Braff wrote the script for Garden State when he was still in college. He described that “When I wrote Garden State, I was completely depressed, waiting tables and lonesome as I’ve ever been in my life. The script was a way for me to articulate what I was feeling; alone, isolated, ‘a dime a dozen’ and homesick for a place that didn’t even exist.”

His character, Andrew Largeman, is based closely upon himself and is really where he was at 26. “I was living in Los Angeles, waiting tables. I really experienced this lost, lonesome feeling in my 20s. I’ve started to think that your teen years are your body’s puberty and your 20s are your mind’s puberty. But no-one really ever tells you that”. He recalls “not feeling like I belonged anywhere and feeling long overdue for the next chapter of my life to start but not knowing what that was”.

That all sounds quite depressing, and it might even be. But Braff managed to turn all those feelings into a beautiful little movie. Garden State is so sincere and sensitive. The soundtrack is really good- and was handpicked by himself, “Essentially, I made a mix CD with all of the music that I felt was scoring my life at the time I was writing the screenplay.”

The movie is from 2004 and became an indie cult classic. I watched it years ago but for some reason it randomly popped in my head. Maybe that means I should watch it again…

Have you watched Garden State? Trust me, you don’t have to be a depressed twenty something to enjoy it!

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Heath Ledger got me thinking

Everyone you meet always asks if you have a career, are married or own a house as if life was some kind of grocery list. But nobody ever asks if you are happy. – Heath Ledger

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I came across this quote and it stuck with me. Do you agree with that? When I first read it I was like YES! I’ve always been so ambitious and adventurous, that a lot of times I make unconventional choices in life. Society does seem to expect people to follow a script when it comes to creating your own story, but the concept of happiness can look so different for everyone. At the same time though, living in this day and age we are used to being bombarded with images of perfect lives on social media and lately this happiness list seems to be growing bigger and bigger. It’s not just about the house and the career anymore. It’s about having an absolutely perfect life. And that is daunting.

Researches say that happiness is a choice. It’s an active decision that you have to make every single day. Sounds hard, doesn’t it? The more I live, the more I see that life really is about love and the pursue of happiness. And that journey is full of ups and downs. But because of that, moments of joy are so powerful to us. I guess I’m still learning what happiness means to me. But the more I think about it, the more I’m more convinced that whatever it is it doesn’t look like a grocery list. Although I’m very aware that we must have responsibilities, face some uncomfortable decisions and that a career and a house are important things to consider. So it’s all about balance. And respecting other people’s ideas of happiness.

But then again it’s only Monday. I gotta chill.

Killer boots

Quite literally.

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Do you see these cute, innocent looking booties? They’re quite popular. Every elegant, effortlessly chic woman owns a pair. Well, I’ve always aspired to be an elegant, chic woman myself, so when I saw these next to a huge sale sign it felt like destiny. Suddenly I had to have them. I could already picture my new life wearing them everywhere and how they go everything.

So I bought them.

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A rainy weekend in Paris

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Picture this: my mom, aunt and I hop on a bus headed to Paris in the middle of the night. It’s a very last minute decision and we’re beyond excited. We’re expected to arrive early in the morning, but in the wee hours, somewhere in Belgium, we find ourselves stuck on the side of a road. Hours go by and it’s very clear we’re not going anywhere. Our German driver looks confused; at this point he’s tried everything to fix the problem but without success. The Frenchman sitting next to us is by no means happy about the situation and jumps out of the bus. We all look at each other and wonder quietly, will we ever get to Paris? 

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Millennial Love

Talking to friends I’ve been noticing a pattern.

Aren’t we all confused about love these days? Mass media feeds us unrealistic ideas of romance and we grow up expecting that at one point in our lives we’ll meet a perfect person and everything will be easy and that’ll be real love. In the meantime you convince yourself that it’s okay to live in a hookup culture, where everyone keeps things shallow so that they don’t get hurt. People avoid intimacy and vulnerability, because being casual is a way of protecting your heart. It’s become so natural to separate emotions from the physical. Young people are getting cynical, selfish and everyone is replaceable. Everyone tries so hard not to care, it’s exhausting.

But couldn’t it be love if we were bold enough to give it a chance? And risk putting our hearts on the line?

Truth is it’s terrifying to realize when that happens to you and how powerless it makes you feel. So shutting that down is so much easier than dealing with the full complexity of a relationship. Or worse, being rejected. Getting attached is the ultimate weakness.

Falling in love and developing an emotional connection with someone is so complicated and messy. It’s involuntary and abrupt. And then it takes hard work and continual effort. Why put yourself through that when there are so many options out there, at your fingertips?

We have these ideas of how men and women are supposed to behave, but now it’s all a blur, no one can really make a move and everyone seems to be afraid and unsatisfied. We’re closer and freer than ever, but we’ve never been so isolated and distant.

But it’s alright. We’re good at pretending it didn’t mean anything.

 

Four simple truths

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Have you ever listened to Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations podcast? It’s so full of wisdom and interesting discussions. It works like therapy for me, specially if I have it on when I go for a walk. I feel inspired and intrigued and calm after listening. It’s great for the mind and spirit. I constantly find myself writing down snippets of wisdom they share.

Oprah talks to Don Miguel Ruiz, the author of The four agreements on one episode – I haven’t read the book yet but I’d love to. And here’s four beautiful statements he shares that I always think about and try to live by:

Be impeccable with your words.

Don’t take anything personally.

Don’t make assumptions.

Always do your best.

A simple and honest mantra to live by, isn’t it?