That’s the kind of love

I watched Good Will Hunting last night and now I simply can’t stop thinking about it. It’s a minor obsession that will eventually fade away ( I suffer from those from time to time. They’re quite random. Oh and they also add unnecessary melancholy and drama into my life, just dandy.) but now it’s at its peaky and I am suffering.

Damn, what a beautiful script. I’m such a sucker for well written dramas that are meant to make you cry and ponder about your own life and dreams. It’s all very existential crises. And then there’s Robin Williams with those sad, beautiful eyes and soft voice, saying the right things, being the mentor you never had but so wish you did. The story is after all, about love. And isn’t everything in life about love? It’s everywhere you look and we’re all looking for it. It’s in every love song I’ve ever heard and every book I’ve ever read, and it never gets old or predictable, because it’s so complex and complicated.

I watched the movie years ago when I was just a kid, and I loved it, but I obviously missed the point back then because romantic love was such an abstract idea that I knew nothing about. This time around though I was screaming at the screen THIS IS IT!! multiple times but specially in this scene: Matt Damon’s character is having a therapy session and he’s talking about this girl he just met; how she’s absolutely perfect, so he won’t call her up and end up finding out that she’s actually not that perfect. And that he is not that perfect. Then Robin Williams improvises the funniest moment (by the way, you have to watch the scene. It’s on youtube) and follows up with this beautiful monologue:

“…little things like that. Ah, but those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That’s what made her my wife. Oh, and she had the goods on me too. She knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things imperfections, but they’re not. Aw, that’s the good stuff. And then we get too choose who we let in to our weird little worlds. You’re not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense, this girl you met, she isn’t perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you’re perfect for each other. That’s the whole deal. That’s what intimacy is all about. Now, you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way of finding out that one is by giving it a shot”.

We all experience love in different ways, but isn’t this the essence of love? I’ve talked about this extensively with my friends, because I was once in a relationship where the guy had such unrealistic expectations of love and what his partner should be like that it all just became a pressure cooker and impossible to deal with. I learned that perfection is such a personal concept and what’s the point in having someone who loves you when you’re being their personal idea of perfect? The whole point is being with someone who sees your imperfections as little idiosyncrasies to love and that only they’re allowed to see. You don’t have to hide from them, or feel the need to impress them all the time like you feel you have to do at work or pretty much in every other aspect of your life. They are the one person who are welcome to see everything.

Ahh isn’t that beautiful? Maybe some people do need a perfect partner who has no flaws to make them happy, I don’t know (Gone Girl, anyone?) . But the vulnerable and truly intimate kind of love sounds a lot more fulfilling to me. And exponentially harder to find, isn’t it.

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